Lucas Wei - Week 5: Apeirophobia Inverted
Week 5: Apeirophobia Inverted – 10/21/26 - 10/21 [9:50].
What ends the universe?
How long will humanity last?
What would it be like to watch the last star die?
The void after heat death
These concepts used to keep me up at night, pondering, while having nothing to do thanks to the pandemic. Life never was quite the same after watching that Kurzgesagt youtube video on the future of the universe. The idea of what came after terrified me; the concept that there would be a point where it cut off, where it just ended, where it would just be,
nothing…
forever…
I often couldn’t sleep because of this, staying up at night, pondering… wondering… using my imagination combined with the rules I learned in the video to try and come up with some happy ending through all of this. (Spoiler: there never was)
I never could really explain it back then; pondering the concept invoked an emotion that had just appeared from my perspective, having never felt it before and never really understanding it.
The most understandable way I can describe it is a mix between immense sadness, hopelessness, confusion, mixed into a feeling of being lost, all together being one feeling. Although I never actually felt anything that could result in sadness or despair.
Later in life when I finally got over my apeirophobia was when I realized something strange, I felt a sense of thrill through this whole experience, something akin to a rollercoaster, but from a concept. For some reason this unknown started to fascinate me; the thought of the forces we couldn’t control or play a part in, the potential beings we could never understand, the circle of knowledge that can’t be told how big it could be. This feeling of how small we actually were in the grand scheme of things, it was almost freeing. Where most thought this nihility would invoke despair I found elation in a nontraditional sense.
From this, it gave birth a original motto to what has dictated a large amount of my life. Something that had changed the way I reacted to learning, teaching, media consumption, content, lore, and etc.
"If one doesn’t know what is possible, everything is a possibility by perspective"
Hey Lucas! I really enjoyed reading your blog because you explore a topic that most people would find frightening or scary and how perspective changed over time. I have also wondered what would happen if something were to happen to the universe. I especially liked how you described the initial fear of not knowing what would happen, how it is almost impossible to imagine the universe coming to an end and contrasted with the sense of fascination and freedom you eventually discovered. Your reflection explains how learning about something more can completely change how we comprehend it, even if it always does not necessarily provide answers for our questions. I also thought your connection between uncertainty and possibility was unique because it challenges the assumption that knowing something must always be frightening. Instead, you show how uncertainty can spark curiosity and encourage us to think beyond what we already know and understand. Your final quote “ If one doesn't know what is possible, everything is a possibility by perspective,” ties your ideas together nicely. Furthermore, your blog reminded me that sometimes changing our perspective can transform something that once caused fear into something that inspires wonder.
ReplyDeleteFeeling very contemplative today, are we Lucas? Who’s to say that death is a void? I know that people who have experienced death (albeit a very short one before resuscitation) have claimed there to be many different variations of death. Some of them claimed seeing a place similar to the backrooms, some have said that they were damned to hell, others remarked that they rose to the highest heights of heaven. Death is very different for everyone, a frightening, yet comforting concept that is the only sure thing in life. I know that you are scared of the end of the universe. Many people are. That’s why people try to plug that unfathomable topic with theories like the egg theory, different dimensions, parallel versions of themselves to try and ease the idea of death by just the tiniest bit. But you shouldn’t be afraid of it. I know that if I were to die today, on this spot, right now, I would be happy. Happy for myself for achieving so much, but rather sad for the people who care about me. My family clan would horribly miss me and I have friends at school that would feel the lack of my presence rather hard. I would be sad for them, but proud of myself for achieving so much.
ReplyDeleteI’ve repeated this many times in my comment: Do not be afraid of death. I think there is a sort of charm of not knowing what comes after death that allures me. Most people are not afraid of death, but rather how they die. What’s the use in fearing death, anyhow? Might as well live your life how you see fit rather than let that fear constrict it. Life is what you make out of it. The same goes for death. Whatever you think will happen after death, will happen after death. Don’t let it keep you up at night. After all, everything is a possibility by perspective.